Why is it that we find it easier to be so short with those we’re closest to when we’re not happy about something or we’ve had a bad day?
Most of us wouldn’t dream of being rude with an outsider. Are we too comfortable? Is that possible?
Comfort is supposed to be a positive thing, right? I suppose it depends on what we’re talking about. If we’re talking about a chair or a couch, then yeah, I want lots of comfort…coziness…cushiness…you get the picture.
When I’m talking about relationships yeah, I want to be comfortable with people I’m close to. What about being so comfortable that we forget about their comfort? Is that possible? Is it possible to be so comfortable that you don’t move, that you stay in the same old place & become stinky? Yep! It sure is! It’s called being a couch potato! It’s not good for us physically. And it’s not good for us relationally.
We should be comfortable enough around our loved ones to be ourselves. To voice our opinions. To be relaxed. But if we’re too busy wallowing in our comfort we become self centered & forget about someone else’s comfort…their feelings. There’s also the flip side of that. If you’re always focused on someone else’s comfort then you’ll eventually become angry that you’re feelings weren’t considered.
What is the answer to this dilemma? What if you’re the one who’s taking your bad mood out on a loved one? Stop. Think. Breathe. Listen to yourself. Breathe again. Remember how it makes you feel when you’re in their shoes. I love this quote of Benjamin Franklin’s “If you would be loved, love and be lovable.”
What if you’re on the receiving end of the one with the bad mood? Stop. Think. Breathe. Listen. Breathe again. Remember how it makes you feel when you’re in their shoes. “Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” ~ Marcus Aelius Aurelius
“If someone compels you to go one mile, go with him two miles.” Matthew 5:41. Is that my attitude today? I want it to be. Lord knows I’m not that way everyday.
Do I want couch potato relationships? No. No I don’t. I would definitely want someone to go the extra mile with me. I definitely want to go double the miles with them…Oh God, grant me the grace & desire it takes to do that!
“Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.
I love this version of the verse above from The Message.