They love me…they love me not…they love me…they love me not…they love me…
That’s how I feel about a couple of my family members. We don’t share the same address, but still it’s hard. Still it gnaws at me. With one, it used to change from day to day. Now, we settled into a sort of understanding, I guess. We really don’t have any contact with one another. We’ve become comfortable the way things are, so to speak. With the other, it’s a toss up from one day to the next. Bitterness is the culprit. I don’t like it. It’s not the way I dreamed things would be when I was younger. It’s the craziest roller coaster ride I’ve ever been on & quite frankly, I want off! I want to be loved & to love. Relationships are funny aren’t they? In order for us to be loved & to love it take two to tango! Do you have family relationships like this too? How do you handle the ride? Do you hang on for dear life squinting your eyes shut screaming until it’s over? Do you raise your hands & enjoy it for what it is? Do you demand for it to stop? Do you vomit? I’m praying for sanity today. I praying for peace. I’m praying for healing & direction.